"The Getaway"

***Hold on to your butts - an extremely crazy and out of the ordinary review is happening! ***

JK it's totally ordinary and expected of me. Today, the gods of alternative rock dropped their glorious eleventh album. YEP - the Red Hot Chili Peppers, you nerds! YAY! If you aren't saying, "YAY!" with me, please go elsewhere this week because this is what you're getting. 

This album is called, "The Getaway" and it is absolutely divine. The Red Hot Chili Peppers have been my #1 for an extremely embarrassing amount of time. If you listen to their records in chronological order - it's astounding to hear them progress, ripen and mature to where they are in 2016 as compared to when they released, "True Men Don't Kill Coyotes" decades ago. It's insane. I love how their albums experiment with unique sounds and how these guys are not afraid to venture outside of their comfort zones - sock or no sock. 

This was RHCP's first record without their main squeeze Rick Rubin. (Well, since 1989 at least.) How nerve wracking is that?! Danger Mouse was the producer of The Getaway and Jesus Christ did he jizz such out of this world bliss all over the album. 

The first track is the album title, "The Getaway". It's light, fluffy and bubbly - that is for sure. It has an amazing, velvet flow to it and eases into the rest of the album smoothly. The newly released single, "Dark Necessities" is the following track. The bass line that opens on this tune is hypnotic, mesmerizing and funkadelic. You can hear the piano come in shortly after with a "clapping" build up into the chorus. The guitar solo at the end is fucking stunning. It's definitely worthy of being their single and the newly released music video for it was directed by the fabulous Olivia Wilde - it's spectacular to say the least:

"You don't know my mind." 

"Dark necessities are a part of my design."

"We Turn Red" is number three on this album. I think it has some "One Hot Minute" vibes sprinkled on it, no doubt in the beginning of the track. Dave Navarro, are you there!? It glides into a super soothing melody about three quarters in. I love the "sandwich" type of pattern used in the song: That "One Hot Minute" vibe is at the beginning and end while a totally different, "soothing" melody is in the middle. 

"Sitting here, I count the moons."

"The Longest Wave" is song number four and the guitar during the opening is KILLER. I believe Josh Klinghoffer really found himself as a musician on this album. (NOOB, HAHAH) Seriously though - he shines just as bright as the three amigos that have been around since the start. "The Longest Wave" gives me a blend of gracefulness, fragility and peace. 

"Waitin' on the wind to turn the page." 

Klinghoffer shreds the fuck up again when the next track opens up. "Goodbye Angels" is number five on "The Getaway" and I can't emphasize how much I am digging Josh's guitar skills on this. It's a very slow build up that reminds me of twilight. (The actual word, not the dumb book series you twerps.) Flea's solo at the end is just...UGH. I can't even think of the words. I wrote, "Incredible cyclone" in my notebook - that's the only phrase that came to mind. The repetition of "Ayo, ayo, ayo" is enchanting to me too. 

"Suicide is never gonna save you."

"Sick Love" is next up. JOSH THOUGH, GUYS - JOSH KLINGHOFFER. He's a powerhouse on this album, for real. He showcases his futuristic, beach-like vibes on this song. It's so relaxing and Flea's piano at the chorus is so fucking pretty. I adore how recently the Peppers have incorporated heavy piano into their work. 

"Got a lot in your head for such a tiny girl." 

"Your heart is stronger than your head."

Now halfway through the CD is track seven - "Go Robot" This was originally going to be the first single but was changed later on. The percussion and bass at the very beginning is everything. There's a major psychedelic feel emitting throughout this especially with the wah pedal. Josh's pickup towards the end is so energetic and escalates the song to a new level - it almost sounds war-like; at least that's what I have written down. (I'm strange, whatever.) 

"I don't take these things so personal anymore."

"Feasting On the Flowers" comes up next. The title alone is ultra breathtaking. I love it. I'd get it on a shirt, hat, mug, whatever - someone get me merchandise with that phrase immediately, if not sooner. Again, Josh slays the opening scale. (sorry if my phrases are amateur AF) It has these little patches throughout the entire song that had me picturing Kirby's Adventure and also a galactic scene from the eighties the entire time. If you know me - I was not upset with that picture in my head in the least bit. The piano in this track was sounding a tad like their previous album, "I'm With You" - but I'm not complaining.

The last single digit track is called, "Detroit". To remind everyone - this is Anthony Kiedis' hometown. Yes, shockingly it's NOT a city in California! This song is grungy compared to the eight leading up to this. I love Anthony's voice - he drags out the lyrics and it's darkly beautiful.

"Don't you worry babyyyyyyyyy"

#10 on "The Getaway" is my favorite, hands down. "This Ticonderoga" is hardcore. It's garage-y and a unique sounding ballad masterpiece. It flip flops throughout the entire song between that really intense, hardcore sound and a drastically slow, broken up sound. I have it on repeat. I will run it into the ground thanks to my addictive personality. 

"Encore" follows up and this song is definitely soulful. It totally had me remembering the original Spyro soundtrack. So, it was hippie-ish sounding mixed with The Police and had RHCP dusted on top. (My references are super hip.) 

The second to last track is "The Hunter" and oh my golly it opens with a deep, tinted and sad piano piece. Anthony's voice the entire time has this echo on it that made me think, "YAAAAS" the entire time. 

"Strawberries left to decay."

The grand finale on "The Getaway" is titled, "Dream of a Samurai" This is a goddamn showstopper. It's like a broadway journey condensed to six minutes in length. There's gorgeous piano throughout it and that slides into this phenomenal chanting at the end. I felt like I was going to battle in the 1700's while listening to this. Don't ask why the 1700's, it's the first time period that came to mind. I also, thanks to my obsessions in life, kept picturing the final world in Kingdom Hearts that was at Beast's Castle. SO EPIC. 

In case you can't tell - I REALLY enjoyed this entire album! I can't believe how elevated the RHCP's sound was thanks to Danger Mouse. I believe they threw away almost thirty songs or something like that before deciding on the thirteen that made the cut. "The Getaway" is available now on iTunes, Spotify, and other places on the Web so do your ears a solid and listen to it. Thanks so much for reading and do not forget to #staynerdy! 

Thank you to EVERYONE who has taken a moment to "Like" my Facebook page - please help me break triple digits this weekend! It means a lot. We can do it, nerds! :3




The Conjuring 2. Yes I finally saw it! The first one was so freaking good so you know I was stoked as anything to see this. It was definitely not as amazing as the original - but it was pretty good for a now third movie in this franchise. I jumped a few times and the demon in that movie genuinely freaked me out. I do think it got a little too cheesy for a horror movie though - realistically in  my eyes it's pretty impossible to have a happy ending scenario when it comes to demons that want to eat your happy thoughts for breakfastt, your insides for lunch and your soul for dinner. That's just me though I guess. I'm just not satisfied unless everyone dies. Go see it nonetheless! 


#ICYMI - I did get my super green and handsome Yoshi back after 36 days! Yeah, no typo, THIRTY SIX DAYS. Don't buy an obnoxious, limited edition colored car and then swerve dramatically at 2AM to avoid a coyote on a dark road and almost roll down a steep valley and face death. HIT THE DAMN COYOTE. Lesson learned. 

NO MORE DEW (forever)

Since I was very young - Mountain Dew has generally served as my breakfast. #fitnessgoals Shut up with the judgement. Due to some health issues my granny self is experiencing, I have to cut out the Dew. UGH. So I'm drinking this very delicious natural tea stuff - it's a truly good substitute. I have never even liked tea until I was introduced to this brand. Do yourself a favor if you want to cut out the pop - replace it with this tasty liquid instead. (Don't worry - I'll still be getting my whisky gingers FYI if you were worried about my alcohol endeavors) 


So....I've been working at my new job that involves puppies for two weeks and.....I brought home a dog.........I have problems. I have always wanted a puppy though! Meet Mercury - my little cutie pie. She's named after my fave Sailor Scout and will triumph over evil just as successfully! But first, she needs to learn to poop outside. #thestruggle

Disclaimer: These are my opinions on what I think I can recall of certain events in my life. I am in no way accusing anyone of any crimes and will never provide personal information such as names, addresses, and things of that nature. This is all being used to tell a story to help others out who may be in a similar situation.