FRIENDSHIP AND SHITTY EDITING

hey world

I know I’ve been gone for a prolong amount of time…almost an entire year actually. I had a pretty rough Spring last year, and have just been taking time to work on my physical and mental health over the past months. I do still want to continue blogging though – hopefully regularly now that my life is finally settling down again.

I wanted to do a little relaunch with a post about friendships. I feel like a lot of people focus their whole life around their friendships – and that’s really great to maintain. Until you come across people that use you or aren’t giving you a two way street with the relationship. Those humans are referred to as assholes. I really don’t care how nice they are to you when you DO hang out occasionally - if they make you feel left out or like crap the majority of the time – do not bother with them anymore. I try way too much to please everybody at all times, and a goal I made to myself for 2015 is to be more “selfish”. By selfish I mean that I will still care for others, but I will put myself first. I won’t schedule my life around others who won’t bend for me at all. It’s sad, because when you start doing this you realize you probably only have a small handful of close friends. It’s a reality we all must face though in order to be happier. Letting go of small grudges and constantly trying to please everyone is tough at first, but once you get in the habit you’ll become a whole new person.

We all try to accumulate as much friends as possible it seems these days rather than building on relationships we already have. People treat their best friends like this: when you go shopping and find an awesome new piece to add to your wardrobe. You are stoked on that thing for a while, maybe a month or two, and then after using it constantly you become tired of it and throw it in the back of your closet or toss it in the trash can. Humans should not be treated like this! We have emotions that need to be stimulated. I consider close friendships like actual relationships but without the romance obviously. You need to constantly keep in touch or you’ll lose it. Boyfriends & girlfriends chat daily at almost all times. Why shouldn’t friends be the same way? I’m not saying to talk 24/7, but at least weekly. I feel so bad when I don’t chat with a close friend for more than a week or two. I feel even worse when I don’t see close ones for over a month if distance permits it. There are always special circumstances, but you shouldn’t ever need to make excuses for a person that makes you feel down all the time. If you sit down and list your friendships and really think about which are draining and which are fulfilling, there’s a high chance that once completed your list will be a whole lot shorter then when you started – and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not a competition to see how many friends you can say you have, when you’re older you will only care about who is there with you to actually experience life and not just rack up the “Likes” on Facebook.

how to keep long lasting friendships:

ring, ring:

If you can’t remember the last time you chatted with a friend – hit them up immediately with a text, e-mail, or *dun dun dun* a PHONE CALL!

hey, listen!

If you find yourself always asking for favors, you could possibly be the toxic person of a friendship. Remember to actually

care

about who is in your life by asking how they are, what is new, ect. Listen to what your friends say and don’t just nod your head if you really aren’t interested.  Don’t you hate when others ignore what you think is interesting stuff about what’s happening in your life?

free food and netflix?

Set time aside from your romantic life to ensure that you get dinner with friends every once in a while or do some sort of activity. Even if it’s just hanging out at your apartment and eating pizza – social interaction -in person- makes a huge difference in friendships.

aww, you shouldn’t have!

Everybody loves little surprises. If I’m ever out and see something (affordable) that I relate to a friend and know they’d love – I always buy them it! Sometimes I will handcraft something too, like a painting or little note – just to show that I think about that person. It’s the simple, little things like that that truly allow others to physically see that you care and think about them when they aren’t around.

argue:

Friendships, like relationships, have bumps. You will get into fights and disagreements with people you have in your life consistently. Don’t just shut those out when this happens – confront situations and talk it through. Sure, it’s uncomfortable at the time, but it’s worth it in the long run. Hiding “negative” feelings may seem like the safe route to go, but discussing these feelings actually brings you close to others and makes your friendships stronger than ever.

iron vaults:

Keep secrets safe and try your hardest not to gossip about others in a negative way if avoidable. How much do you despise when you hear a close friend was talking smack behind your back? It feels like absolute shit so if you care about somebody, don’t say anything about them you wouldn’t say to their face.

wrapping up:

Communication, Trust, and Appreciation are probably the top 3 qualities I’d say that make any relationships flourish for as long as you want them to last. Sift out those dicks that drag you down with them in their self-destructing, black clouded life. You don’t have time for that and deserve happiness. Don’t let how many years you’ve known somebody be the crutch you’re resting on to stay friends with someone who is absolutely terrible. Tell them they suck and find a better friend! You’ll be amazed at how much your life changes when you completely surround yourself with positivity.

Thanks for reading! I’ll be posting (almost) weekly again and will have some fun giveaways, interviews, reviews, and stellar new surprises with my re-launch. I hope you enjoyed my first post of 2015, let me know what YOU want to see and I’ll make it happen!