All I can say is WOW. Wow to all the gracious responses I received on my post last week and double wow to the asshole responses I received. ( I was preparing for them, btw. ) I can't believe how far my story is traveling ~ and that is really all my intention was. I am sharing my story to h e l p those that feel shelled up and lost in their dreary and probably not so good fortuned events that have been occurring in their life. We have all been there, right? It's devastating and really frustrating because in times of blackness we feel truly that there is no escape - no light. It's terrible, to say the least. But there is ALWAYS a way out. I am a prime example of this. My goal for my readers and those strangers who feel as though there is no future is to let them know that at some point there IS a way out and a happier tomorrow. Sometimes it's quite quick to find that bright tomorrow and sometimes it's a bright decade from today. The point is - YOU are in control of nearly every aspect of your life. More times then not, it does not feel like you truly are in control. It generally takes small, infant turtle steps to gain access to the chaos of how horrible people can be. But - eventually - you can harness the evil sections of your life and morph them into positive vibes! I know my story is A LOT to take in. I actually left a lot out because as I said, in the future I am going to have sections of my blog dedicated to sharing a memory of my life that taught me a valuable lesson that I hope will aid others that could be in a similar scenario.
Today's post is piggybacking off of my last. It's confusing and overwhelming for most to effectively soak in my story. There are a multitude of compartments that compose the melody of my life. I just thought I'd address the "haters" that are so scared of letting the truth be known that they still go to great lengths to make my childhood seem glamorous.
My post last week was not in anyway supposed to start a trial where I'm required to give out personal evidence to prove a point, but a lot of the shivering, brainwashed residents of my community found it imperative to start that battle. Let me tell you now, I'm in no way trying to start a war with providing "x,y, and z" to show my past is full of honesty. I know it is and that's all that matters. It was extremely hard for me to get to this mindset though. My entire life, since I attempted to get away from my really deranged blood relatives, I have been told I'm a faker, a dramatic female, an attention seeker, and so forth. My childhood town will do whatever it takes to seal the secret of its hierarchy, agenda and demonic secrets - that is an obvious fact. I just wanted to let those of my readers be aware that there will ALWAYS be people who are quivering with fear at things that are simply uncomfortable to them or that they feel guilty about for letting slide by for so long while turning a blind eye.
It does really suck, and is disheartening when you are trying to break free of the horror, but it's going to happen. You will forever have others who want to disprove your point or be weary of their own stance when an unfortunate circumstance was occurring - but just understand that there is no shame in stepping up, sharing your story, and growing from it.
If I am going to dip in the shallow end to DEFEND (yeah, me defend this story that I clearly fabricated from my psychotic self since I developed that part of my brain that allows me to remember shit) myself very briefly - and that will be the end of it. I'm not a coward who hides behind Anonymous or wants to leave out facts; so here ya go, internet. As soon as I posted my journey thus far last week, I had some attacks instantly happen on my blog. I was told that, "
karma is going to bite you in the butt for those lies!!" (Anonymous) and, "If you hate your parents so much, just say so don't hurt them anymore than you already have......" (Anonymous). It was very clear to me that this Anon was someone who lives in the area I grew up in. They are obviously threatened that me releasing the truth of my life may put them in jeopardy - which I understand. And no, I'm not referring to the gameshow that typically makes you feel stupid - Weird Al says it best. But, incase you didn't notice, I left out locations, names and things of that nature to be courteous. I'm not spiteful - I just want to share my story, as I stated, as both a therapeutic measure for me and to help others survive their own Hell's.
My parents were intelligent - again, as I discussed last week. They signed me up for every extracurricular under the sun: dance, theater, softball, karate, volleyball, ect to explain all of my injuries. They DID indeed give me braces due to the pressure of my school nurse who noticed my brother getting care and me not - but my father did remove these himself in one of his psychotic, meth high episodes. (Hence my crooked teeth with the roots of my baby teeth still behind most of my adult pearly whites.) My rib cage has been inverted for a long time due to it being broken so many times without proper care to heal, and has made a hole in my heart and lung area - which is why I have so many health problems. I did have to provide for myself for as long a I can remember. Yeah - there are photos of me in my First Communion gown, dance costumes, and major events like that - but pictures don't mean SHIT. My mother and father did this as protocol - so that if I were to escape their clutches they could show some photos that revealed how "wholesome" and "healthy" I was. Do you know how many athletes have severe health issues? A majority of them. Being active and skinny does not equal outstandingly perfect health. To dive into my dance life, most ballerinas do suffer from an eating disorder, for example. It's terrible. Being involved in theater and dance does not make an equivalent for good standing health. Pictures can be forced and photoshopped, sorry. You know what else can be fabricated from thin air? Doctor's records.
Again, not to reiterate my post of last week, but my family KNOWS the main doctor from my tiny town. I was never evaluated. Anything at this point is just a favor the doctor owes my parents to say I visited him/her years ago. They also are chummy with the main dentist so those reports could be falsified too. I hit a nerve with my cult village by exposing them last week - so it's only appropriate I have threats and nonsense being posted on the comments from an "Anonymous". They won't even reveal who they are and keep saying the same blanket statements over and over again. I, as a human being, am all the EVIDENCE needed. I'm not going to put my doctor reports on here and things of that nature. That's childish and super immature. I didn't really respond or take part in all the negativity with my post last week - so my post THIS week is the only time I'm going to go off on the various "anons" in the comment section. I'm not a coward like a lot of the adults in my community growing up. I had so many positive, private messages from families and friends that were so glad I escaped and they told me how they knew something was fishy but they were way too terrified of my family to help. But, they are very much relieved I was able to get out in one piece.
To give some concrete examples a little more in depth - I very much recall going to several people who were supposed to be "protective, parental figures". Before I could even get a word out and they realized where I was going with my words, I would be cut off and told something like, "Please don't tell me anything that may ruin my *relationship* with your parents". Okay really? I remember I was going to speak up, confidently, right before moving to California. It was a kind of therapy and last word type mindset, right? Like those movies where Seniors in High School MUST get laid before entering college......sort of. Anyway - I went to someone who truly was like a parental figure to me; I've known them a majority of my life. It took every ounce of strength to muster up and their reply was just what I said. They shut me down so they wouldn't have to deal with the reality right in front of them. They would rather close me out of their life as a tightly knit "daughter-like" figure and see me off 3,000 miles away. It sucked but really woke me up. I thought..."Wow. A guardian figure who knew what I was going to say had the nerve to cut me off to tell me their political agenda was more important then my safety. I'm really glad I'm leaving now - this is definitely the best decision."
CPS, the police, and various forms of authority did try to help me up until I was 18 - but again, as I already said, they couldn't. Evidence would evaporate and I couldn't be helped. Authorities would be paid off or would just disappear somehow - which is why I knew I had to get out on my own.
To tread on the subject while you're all here, the Anons' evidence to their "claims" has all been contradictory and very quickly retracted. Scoliosis is at times genetic. However, it is TREATABLE. Did I receive treatment? NAH BRO. I don't even have a lazy eye - and a lazy eye is also treatable. But, I do have a blind eye. No vision in that left tunnel. There's no cure for that and if there is - did I receive it? NAH BRO. The mass growing in my side? Why would my parents prophesize that to the neighborhood? NAH BRO. That would be odd that I have a mass growing on my intestines that happens to do with consuming trash and inhaling methamphetamine chemicals - so just NAH BRO. Likewise, you'll notice there are no comments to the facts that my family is deeply involved in the meth trade and are alcoholics. NAH BRO.
Now, here I am - whistling a ballad of triumph, happiness, and strength. Nobody can unteach me how to whistle now. I'm not looking to start a war because I've conquered those demons in my life - there's no fight left, #sorrynotsorry. I'm looking to expose my story to those who do feel helpless. You can help yourself with only you and nobody else. It is possible to rise above the ashes of horrid that are surrounding you. It sometimes takes more time then others, but it always can happen with persistence, strength and a good mindset. There will always be an, "Anonymous" in your life - in one way or another - but they are insignificant. They should give you even more confidence and power to shed light on circumstances that just are not okay. Don't let an Anonymous shove you back in a corner. Stomp on Anonymous, just as Mario stomps on goombas, with a good attitude and grow into a tip top whistler from Anon's flat, out of tune broken records.
A look at the chaos I've been dealing with all week:
ANON'S REALLY VAGUE AND TOO SMALL TO BE WORTH CONSIDERATION COMMENTS:
~~ Let Your Let Shine, and I'll Let Mine Too~~
~~ Yeah it's a free world, but comments are encouraged to be courteous. We don't all have to agree or be on the same page, but threatening and very impolite comments are not CUTE ~~
~~I'm so manipulative with my awkward and sarcastic personality. I'm really a robot with mind control powers; YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO ME. You know, Brendan clearly was attracted to me because I promised him lots of sex in return for his loyalty since that's how relationships work in 2015.~~
~~ Thanks so much for sharing somebody's name, you're real mature with that move. SO INTELLIGENT. God clearly has been present in my entire life letting me endure torture, abuse, neglect, rape, exposure to drugs, and all that happiness and fairy dust that He delivers to his innocent followers ~~
~~ You're not going to waste your time but 106 comments later you're writing novels of nonsense responses to people you do not even know. I will be held accountable for revealing the truth and standing up to all of the assholes who take advantage of gullible and scared families so they can take take pride in rape, drugs and abuse. ~~
~~ Yes I'm so narcissistic wanting to be remembered for being raped my entire life, having my father videotape / capture it on a disposable camera and all that typical father/daughter bonding. But thanks for being my guardian angel to prevent me from letting my family to shine in the cooking of meth, torturing, abuse, rape and all that really goody gumdrop shit that truly upstanding parents do ~~
~~ I am so mentally ill making up really detailed stories that are 100% backed up with medical records and witnesses. For someone who knows so much about the law, doctors DON'T have to report signs of abuse after the age of 18 as requested by the patient for their own protection. ~~
~~ It's funny you say "gullible chumps" when that describes you and all the other Anons out there who don't want to face the fact that drugs, abuse, and really horrible things do exist in the world and the community you live in isn't a protected, pastel colored happy bubble that shields you from it ~~
~~ THREATS R KEWL THANK U ~~
~~ Putting down someone you don't even know. Someone who literally OWNS a counseling and rehab center and is about to receive his Masters degree. Your ASSumptions really are based on fact huh? Wow you really impress me, Nancy Drew!~~
~~ Also I'm such a sexual lady because my sexual life isn't a shitshow as it is with thoughts of my brother and father raping and sexually torturing me for 18 years. HOW UR BRAIN WERK SEW WELLZ?~~
~~ It's hilarious you think these accounts are me when they are REAL life people who love me and see the hideous pieces of shit you and others are from my past so they are not afraid to use a real name, unlike Anon or Staci Aakster (Yes we all know you created an amazing Facebook profile that shows you studied Psych at Temple University. Wow so smartz.)
~~ Hilarious. Still Anon but tries to use a name in the response. This story is so full of intertwining variations of lies. Still never touched on any of my original points... just wants to throw random "facts" of "stories" that clearly happened (NOT) to seem like a point is trying to be made...~~
~~ Last thing towards Anonymous: if they TRULY believe I am "mentally ill" and "need help" - why will they not reach out to me? Psychologists are supposed to help those they believe need it; not bash them behind a mask and try to cause a huge uproar of insanity. ~~
Anyway... If you really want to invest your energy in reading the whole debacle it can be found in the previous post. Some of those from my childhood are shaking in their boots that I've grown into who I am and will not back down to help those who may feel alone with nobody their to reach out a helping hand. I want to be that helping hand! Thanks again to everybody who positively reenforced my struggling journey to get to where I am - I love everybody that I have chosen to be in my life as of now. :) <3 Anonymous will never get to me and in the future - bullies/dickheads won't get to me either. I dealt with those types of wimps for over two decades and I am reborn now as a strong female who wants to spread my story to inspire others not to take the bullshit.
PS for those who are wondering comments can still be posted - anonymous or not. As stated, repeatedly, I am not a coward who will delete uncomfortable comments or disable them. Since there was so much hype on the last post - I actually lost place in it and wasn't aware of most of the things being said so all that changed is that I get to see each comment before it's posted. That being said, say what's on your mind. Questions are encouraged and I want my blog to be a safe place for all to share their story and click with others. Thank you as always and remember to #staynerdy!
FLICK OF THE WEEK
"The Boy" (2015) // Indie & Horror Mix
FOOD OF THE WEEK
My absolute fave restaurant ever!
This San Marcos bop is full of Tai food, cocktails, and jazz all adorned with the most elegant and beautiful decor
JAM OF THE WEEK
- No particular song; just him because he's akooky kool guy.
Disclaimer: These are my opinions on what I think I can recall of certain events in my life. I am in no way accusing anyone of any crimes and will never provide personal information such as names, addresses, and things of that nature. This is all being used to tell a story to help others out who may be in a similar situation.